A letter to my unborn child

Dear Son/Daughter,

As I write this you are still at least half a decade away from coming into this earth. By the time you make it here so much would have changed, and the experiences you will have will be vastly different and more amazing than I ever did when I was a kid.

But there is one thing which you will never ever be able to experience. And I feel sad for you that you can't. I felt it the first time at the age of 5. It has no name, but it does have certain specific characteristics. When it starts your heartbeat quickens, palms become sweaty, adrenaline rushes through your body, goosebumps everywhere, one of the purest highs you can get. You forget everything, work, play, school, tiffins, marks, the pretty classmate, mom, dad, everything. And you wait, without breathing. 

Suddenly you see him, walking out into the ground, bat tucked beneath his hand, helmet already on, staring into the sun; and the crowd starts to chant his name louder and louder. He walks up to the crease, adjusts his protective gear and you are almost hyper ventilating. A bowler runs in, like a lamb led to slaughter, bowls what he thinks is a good delivery. The ball is met with a bat that is straighter than any thing you will ever see, the ball running past the bowler down the ground, kissing the turf, bisecting the angle, over the boundary. And your heart erupts with joy, almost orgasmic joy. Every time you hear the crack is like best moment of your life. Imagine having every moment for hours as the best moment of your life.

And then suddenly he is gone. Your heart breaks like a dry piece of wood. You feel cheated, disheartened, dismayed, disillusioned. Your entire world crumbles around you in that very instant. Nothing seems worth living for, fighting for. As he walks back to the pavilion the entire nation rises as one, applause thundering, the crowd still chanting his name. He raises his bat slightly, acknowledging the crowd, neither subservient, nor over bearing.

Imagine if a person could give you all of life's emotions in the course of a single innings and then do it over and over again for over 20 years. You get to live your entire life all over again, every single time he walks out to bat.

My child, today I feel very profound sadness that you will never experience any of this. All you will have are videos on youtube, just shadows and mockeries of the originals. You will never believe why so many boys of my generation were named the same. You will never know how much my heart aches today, when he decided to quit. You will never know of the Desert Storm, or believe that 250 runs can be made without a single cover drive, that at 38, a man can score 200 runs in an ODI (heck! I don't even think you will know what ODIs are!). You will never know that a single upper cut over third man made an entire nation scream in joy. You will never know that with a bad bad bad back, 135 runs can be made against our bitter-most cricket enemies on minefield. You will never see the pure joy on his face of finally winning the world cup.

But one thing you, your kids, their kids and even their kids will surely know. Once upon a time, there was a God who walked amongst mortals, and his name was Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar.

Love,

Pa

Of Farewells and New Beginnings!

I am a sucker for this whole emotional-sentimental thing. I love to watch replays of hall of fame induction speeches, applause for a lifetime of work and effort. I always tear up when these guys (and gals) go through their life stories and reveal these little gems which shine like the brightest diamonds.

Today is my last day working out of the H.O. for the foreseeable future. I will move into the Gurgaon depot from next Monday, spending the current week in Mumbai for product training. I had never thought that this would be so difficult for me to think about. Although I am ridiculously happy and cant wait to be an ASM, I will really really miss working out of the H.O. There is this great feeling of emptiness that creeps in when I think of not being in the H.O. and seeing the guys I am used to seeing everyday.

I guess this is what is meant by institutionalization! My cubicle mates, the TT gang, Finance guys and the whole 4'o clock snack chat group will be sorely missed. I will miss talking to Rajeev and Sunder, gaining some seriously awesome insights into selling paints. I will most definitely miss talking to Boss regularly (sorry, even while typing I cant say Manish or Mr. Bhatia, he will always be boss!) and just jumping into a knowledge pool of how to run a business. I will miss calling up random people and talking like a sheik! Yeah! I did that a lot!

4 gals, Kavitha, Monica, Isha and Anshika gifted me a super sexy, kick-ass book on guitars as a farewell gift! I don't think I have been so touched by any other gift. Ever. It is going to help me get over this feeling of bereavement a lot. But mostly I am really happy that these guys are more friends and less colleagues! I think my Gallop answers will be quite different going forward about my working space.

And so I move on to a new role. I am, to paraphrase Russel Crowe from "A Beautiful Mind", terrified, mortified, petrified by it! But also excited, happy and full of adrenaline. And the best thing about all of this is that I know that so many people in the H.O. have got my back.

Adios 20th Floor, building no. 5, DLF Cyber Terraces, Gurgaon!

See you when the rain comes home!

Live regret free, at least Die trying......

Sometimes its difficult to think about a certain thing. I recently got the news today that 3 of my family elders had passed away in 48hrs. It kind of forced me to think about my own mortality. Not that its the first time I have done it. You often read that many people come face to face with their morality at a certain point in life, usually when someone close dies, and its usually when the person has reached middle age. Surprisingly, I have thought about my death from quite an early age. I am shit scared of death. Not the physical aspect of it, but just the fact after a point in time you will have no memories, no thoughts, no understanding. It is described as being a continuous dreamless sleep from which you cannot wake up. Many people find it soothing, I personally find it disturbing. I like living my life way too much to die. I sometimes think that I would be one of those who would struggle to let go of life till the very very end. I just hope my death is not drawn out and painful, and its easy on whomsoever has the misfortune to be besides me in that time.

I think I realize what everyone means when they say that life is way too short to waste it. I am 25 years old, I cannot even remember where these years have gone by. They will never come back. Do I have any regrets? Yes, a few, but I also have some really good memories and loads of stuff that I am proud of. I don't know how long or how the rest of my life is gonna be. It could be better or worse. But I would really really like to live it without any regrets. I think that is the main aim for most of us. If we can live our lives without regret, we will definitely end having a very happy life. In times of serious contemplation such as this, its easy to think about not living a life of regret. But what about every Monday morning when you head out to work, will you try and remember this philosophy and implement it? I think we use the cloak of our daily schedules to hide our fear of failure when we try and live without regrets. Should I ask that girl out that I really really like? No man, what if she says no? She won't even be my friend anymore. I think I should quit my job cause I really don't like it. Screw it man, it pays well, and I have a frigging loan to pay off. Fuck, that dude in office is pissing me off, I should go and give him a piece of my mind. Are you insane? He is close to your boss, your career is so fucked if you do something like that.

We live in constant fear. I know, cause I am afraid like nobody's business. I sometimes try to overcome the fear, most of the times I fail. I think the day I will loose this fear, I will have such a happy and fulfilling life. And believe me when I say this, I try and try to do it. But I really can't do it. I don't know why. I have so many dilemmas in mind you will not guess. I somehow need to find the inner strength to do what will help me live regret free. I need to have the guts to go up to the woman I like and tell her so. I need to be able to work in a place that I like and do the work which I think I will be happy doing, not chase a career which means I end up doing a highly paid but UN-satisfying job. Most importantly I need to have the courage to pick up my life and move on even if I fail in all things I want to do.

Meanwhile I continue to contemplate my own death and the feeling of nothingness. As I write this I am scared as hell.

"Into the valley of death rode the six hundred..."

An Open Letter to Virat Kohli.

Dear Virat,

At the outset, please forgive any spelling/grammatical/any other errors that may creep in to this letter. My hands are trembling as I write this and my eyes are sore from rubbing in disbelief.

You know, about twenty years ago, in Perth, Australia, another Indian batting line-up had faced a great Aussie bowling attack and was folding up. A young man in his late-teens stood up and played an innings which defined the next two decades for Indian cricket fans. It gave us the belief that no matter how badly we have played, whether we have won or lost, we will always, always have a shining star to be proud of.

Today, at the fag end of another inglorious Aussie summer for Indian cricket, we have witnessed you play an innings which may come to redefine the next decade or two for us fans. But Indian cricket fans are skeptics first, admirers second. Hence we ponder, question and doubt. But today we also believe. We believe that you have what it takes to climb to the top of the mountain and stay there. We believe you will pour sweat, blood and tears into your practice and games. We believe that you will dive to get another run every time its needed. We believe that you will cart the world's foremost artisan of the yorker everywhere around the ground, everywhere around the world.

Virat, please, we are not a rational breed of humans. We will not forgive a single mistake and expect a miracle every time you go out to bat. We will forget that doing endorsements doesn't mean you are lazy about your game. We will be unreasonable like nobody's business. We will ridicule you, use #viratsucks till it trends on twitter, never give you even a moment's rest.
Please do not disappoint us. We want you to succeed, you have no idea how badly we want you to succeed. We want it this badly because none of us can even dream of putting in the work you do day in and day out for the love of the game.

But if you bear us through all of this, and play, just play like you did today, we will idolize you. We will worship your photos, build temples and shrines on random village roads. You will be a demigod for us. And then maybe after another momentous night 15 years later, another young Virat Kohli on national television will be proud to carry you on his shoulders because you carried the whole team for so long.

Virat, thank you for today.

We Believe.

- A crazy cricket fan